passion?

as i near the end of my college career i face many “life changing” decisions

i mean really…why do they need to be classified as “life changing”  i am just not sure iam buying in to that.  yes i under stand this will be my first “real job” BUT i am just not sure.

granted i will have a 4 year degree (which iam pretty proud of) i am not sure i want to have anything to do with sociology.  UGH

i honestly have no idea what i want to do with my life. i just dont know.  it really confuses me when some people know exactly what they want to do with their life.  like really…really?  iam 22! there is no way i know what i want to do with the next 40 years of my life. that just is boggeling my mind. 

as much as i really dont want to do anything with sociology, i was reminded today of why i went into this field.  i was at work today…courtesy-ing…and there was a man in the line i was working at.  i could tell he was deaf but did not think to much of it since it is pretty common in the area.  he started writing out a check…and then stopped after he wrote out the name and the numbers in the box, he pulled out a piece of paper that had every number on it from 1-150 in digit form and then behind it had it written out….like this….22 - twenty-two.  this BROKE my heart…like i seriously teared up.  i just wanted to hug the man. i know that sounds really lame, but REALLY.  it made me want to break down. 

daily we (at least i) take for granted how seriously blessed i am.  i mean YES i do have my own set of problems, but i can read, i can hear, i can write, i can speak, i  can walk, i can function as a “normal”  ( i dont think i like that word, it seems RUDE to me) human being.  and yet daily i take all of that for granted, i dont even think about the fact that there are people out there who cant do those things, and they daily struggle just to figure things out. 

so from all this something triggered in my mind…the question iam facing tonight is…what is my passion? that is a really hard question for me to answer.  i know that i was placed in this position in order to impact other people, but i dont think iam doing a good job at that.  the one thing that upsets me more then any other issue in the entire world is how disabled people are treated. BUT when iam faced with  a person like this right in front of me, i turn into a stone and am terrible at dealing with them.  i feel insufficient and like what i can do for them is never enough.  BUT if this is the thing that really gets me, is this the field i need to go into?  i mean really…this issue makes me more upset then orphaned children ( and that issue makes me REALLY upset to)  but when i deal with the issue of disabled people i tear up almost EVERY time. 

so…where does this leave me?  confused…that is for sure. 

i wish i could understand this one…but for now iam just going to have to have a little faith. 

Romans 8:28  - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.