heart broken

i know it is valentines day and i should NOT be heart broken
but right now i can not help it

last night a member of my community was killed in a car accident
your saying- "this happens all the time"
well not really.
not here
it is a rare occurrence, but yes it does happen.
but this is different

he was 16
he was in highschool
he had his whole life ahead of him
but he was taken
i never personally met him
but yet it hurts
i know many people who knew him
and they are hurting
so it makes me hurt
it is so sad to go through this

but yet we have to have faith that God needed him more there then he was needed here
the hardest thing is that he has 3 younger siblings
i can not imagine being those parents
trying to tell my 13 year old, 10 year old and 2 year old that their big brother is never coming home
impossible
my heart breaks for this family

say a prayer for the VanVark family tonight as they are going through this loss

11. 12. 13.

playing a little catch up...again.

11)makes you happy

my kitty who loves being covered in blankets

baby G who is just plain sil

 yes i know i used two...but really they make me happy :)

12) inside your closet

this is the closet in our bed room.  one half is my dresses/one half is storage

.  the rest of our clothes are in the office closet :)

 13) blue

only blue thing around me! 
the awesome clock at work

well there is my catch up

so wed this week i leave for KC for a WEEK!
so i will be absent on here.  but will be taking my pictures!
just have to catch up later

iam so excited to get to see my friends!

until later

dueces

10

this isnt going to be pretty
10) self portrait

lets not talk about the fact that i have day old makeup on and my hair is a mess

o and iam at work :)

fear

websters dictionary defines fear -
                       

: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger 

: anxious concern

fear is something that is always in my head.
there seems to be so many things in life that i fear.
what are they?
what better way to tell you then to make a list ;)

1) not being able to have children
2) being denied the opportunity to adopt
3) not being able to give my children the world
4) a certain someone having children before me
5) being alone
6) looking like a fatty when iam pregs
7) not being able to live out all my dreams
8) not buying a house
9) losing mr D
10) my home being broken into
11) people judging me
12) losing my best friend
13) losing any friends
14) not living out a christian life
15) to be fat the rest of my life


i know these seem stupid....but really!
what do you fear?

dueces

8 &9

8) sun

let be honest, this is NOT the sun.
even more honest?  i didnt go outside all day :)

9) front door

front door of my office :)

5,6, and 7

sorry AGAIN for the lackage on my part

5) 10am

sitting on the couch with my baby girl

 6) dinner

chili

 7) button

not sure these are called buttons....ha IDK

i feel like those were all legit boring :)
such is life



well as always i feel like my life plan changes daily...
this is how the last 3 weeks have gone

----start....thinking about going to school
----spend a legit amount of time working on school stuff
-----after getting accepted, decide right now is not the right time for school
-----apply for a FT job (really want it)
----thinking i wont get the job
----thinking about buying a house so i can just pop out some babies already!
----applying for more jobs
----dream about houses

o dear
what i cycle!!!
i hope there is an end in sight
dueces

3&4

again...no picture yesterdy. my bad
BUT...AGAIN i did take the picture :)

3) hands

somehow the hands got cut out.  dangit
MONOPOLY CITY BABY

 4) a stranger

strangers outside my office window

it is SNOWING
o my i can not believe winter is finally here...maybe
i will let you know if it sticks around :)
dueces